she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
