We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
