remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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