What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
