you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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