sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
