Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
