Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I FOUND THE LEGS
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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