She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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