Sry I called you an 8
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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