He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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