Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
