its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
