i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
