I love black thongs
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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