And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
