her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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