just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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