you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Randomize
