My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
