Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
