so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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