I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You're like the curious george of whores
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
