grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
