My room smells like vodka and shame
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
