It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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