After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize