you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
