Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Floor bacon is actually really good
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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