I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
