Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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