He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
