Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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