if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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