She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
