the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
