I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
