Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
