where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
