He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
