the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You need Xanax blowdarts
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
