I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
