He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I need to stop coming to work sober
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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