why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
