My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
