I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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