It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
