If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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