She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
