discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
