First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
he's single and there are thong briefs.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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