butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Randomize
