I'm eating all of the evidence.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
