I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
