I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
