i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
they're like a gay fantastic four
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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