Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize