so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
