It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
