I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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