i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
