Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm determined to sit on that face.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
